Devastated Hannah Spearritt has damaged her silence after the dying of her old flame and S Club 7 bandmate Paul Cattermole — admitting: “I can’t stop crying.”
In an emotional interview with The Sun, Hannah instructed how Paul as soon as struggled with being within the limelight however was probably the most excited of the group about their deliberate reunion tour.
And she revealed that earlier than signing up the pair, who dated for seven years, laughed and hugged at a gathering to “clear the air”.
Yet his dying was so sudden, they nonetheless by no means received to say goodbye.
Paul, 46, was discovered useless at his house in Dorset on April 6.
Hannah stated: “It’s still so raw and I have these moments where I don’t quite believe that it’s real. I still can’t believe I will never see him again.
“It’s all the more tragic because he was looking forward to the tour the most out of all of us. He just wanted to have fun and enjoy it.”
The day after Paul died — six months earlier than the group’s sold-out tour was set to start — Hannah woke as much as a textual content message from the band’s tour supervisor saying she had “very sad and tragic news”.
Hannah added: “I called the number and was told, ‘Paul has sadly passed, Paul has died’. I couldn’t make sense of it and had so many questions. I was trying to process it but I just couldn’t.”
She has thrown herself into household life with accomplice Adam Thomas, 42, and their youngsters Taya, 4, and Tora, two. But, when she is alone, the grief could be overwhelming.
Hannah stated: “I’m trying my best to hold it together but once I start, I can’t stop crying. And then I have to keep myself together for our two kids. I can’t even imagine any mother losing their child.”
The reason for dying has not but been confirmed however Paul’s household have stated it was not suspicious.
Hannah, 42, added: “My heart is broken for him and his family. He was happier than he had been in years, so for this to happen now, makes it even more heartbreaking.
“And with Paul being famous, it makes it more difficult emotionally as it’s a lot harder to block it all out, which is my coping mechanism.
“Having said that, the messages of support have been heartwarming — they have helped bring a little ray of sunshine within the darkness.”
It was introduced in February that S Club 7 can be reuniting for a particular twenty fifth anniversary tour.
But Paul and Hannah had not spoken for eight years after a bitter break-up in 2015.
Things ended so acrimoniously that her administration crew organised a “clear the air” assembly with a mediator in London again in January to discover a manner by their points.
Hannah stated: “It was important for me to see him and to know that we could work together and not make the band feel awkward.
“I wanted to put everything behind us and look to the future.
“Ultimately, you only know when you see someone and look them in the eye, in terms of how things are going to be. It was a heart to heart and we spoke about everything that had gone on.
“We spoke about how we both felt about doing the tour, our reasons for doing it and if we would be OK to work together again. There was a lot at stake.”
While she was initially nervous concerning the assembly, the pair had been quickly reminiscing about their early days within the band within the late Nineties.
Hannah smiled as she recalled: “Paul spoke very fondly of those early days. We then found ourselves laughing a lot. We were there for about an hour. We sort of had this awkward hug at the end.
“When I got home that evening to my partner Adam and our two little girls, I knew then that I could do it.”
Hannah first met Paul when she was 13.
Both had been members of the National Youth Music Theatre and showing within the play Pendragon.
Three years later, each had been chosen to be in S Club 7, put collectively by ex-Spice Girls supervisor Simon Fuller.
Hannah had auditioned whereas Paul was approached instantly.
The pair grew nearer and moved right into a rented flat in East Finchley, North London.
But it wasn’t till the band relocated to Los Angeles in 1999 to movie their TV sequence Miami 7 for the BBC that their friendship turned romantic.
Hannah stated: “He was my first true love. I think it was something that grew from a solid friendship. I’m glad I had that first time round. I was completely in love with him — probably more so than he with me.”
Paul left the band in 2002 and the couple referred to as it quits 4 years later.
Hannah added: “Paul never wanted fame and he became increasingly unhappy. I just wanted a little bit more of a faster pace of life and Paul was more of a deep thinker, and probably a lot more philosophical than I am.”
They rekindled their romance when S Club reunited in 2015 however issues lasted solely three months earlier than they lower all ties for good.
She stated: “We both realised very quickly that it wasn’t good for either of us, he even said it.”
On their January assembly, Hannah added: “Paul was so open and honest about his struggles. We’d ironed out all our problems.
“Obviously we didn’t get to say goodbye, but I am grateful to have had that time with him to make peace as I know that’s all we both wanted.”
While there have been no formal talks about the way forward for the reunion tour as a consequence of begin this October, Hannah believes that it’s going to go forward in Paul’s honour.
She stated: “We’ll speak to his family. He’d still need to be a big part of it whether that’s a big tribute at the beginning or the end. He will always be on stage with us.”
S Club: The final picture
The final image of S Club 7 with Paul was taken backstage throughout filming for a Red Nose Day skit — and was the ultimate time Hannah would see him.
It reveals the pair with bandmates Rachel Stevens, 45, Tina Barrett, 46, Jo O’Meara, 43, and Bradley McIntosh, 41, who took the selfie. Seventh member Jon Lee, 40, was unable to attend filming on February 27 after he was taken sick.
Hannah stated: “We all had such a great time that day.
“I remember saying to everyone that we should all get together and take a selfie.
“I think it was taken on Rachel’s phone and we all shared it afterwards.”
The group starred in a sketch the place a panel together with Graham Norton, Sam Ryder and Lulu auditioned S Club 7 to be the UK’s official Eurovision entry.
Hannah stated: “Paul made us all laugh so much. It was such a special day.”
This article initially appeared in The Sun and was reproduced with permission
Source: www.news.com.au
